Paraprosdokians

My ever humorous cyberspace friend, Pat Day, has introduced me to a totally new concept. Paraprosdokians are figures of speech where the last part of the sentence is totally unexpected, and thus usually humorous. Winston Churchill loved paraprosdokians. We're at the end of a long work week. Maybe a few from Pat would brighten the start of our weekend.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it's still on my list. Light travels faster than sound; this is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. You're never too old to learn something stupid (I can relate to this one).

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. You need a parachute to skydive only if you plan to do it twice. Evening news starts with "Good evening," and then proceeds to tell why it isn't. On my application, when I see "In case of emergency, notify whom?" I write "Doctor." Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

In life, humor helps. When you quit laughing, you might as well quit, because when you're through laughing, you're through.

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41 Years and Counting

41 years ago tonight, Ruth and I tied the knot. My Pastor, Dad, and Ruth's Pastor, Loren Robinson, were the officiants. Two of my cousins, and two of my uncles, were my groomsmen. The two cousins, Rod Wisdom, my best man, and David Queen, still live in St Louis County. My Uncle Don still lives in Jackson MO; my Uncle John still lives in Benton MO.

Ruth's attendants were her two cousins, Rebecca Varble Hanlon, still of Chaffee MO; Sherry Huey of Cape Girardeau; my sister Esther of St Charles County; and Carol Proffer of Millersville MO, the maid of honor. Carol is the only participant in the wedding we have lost contact with.

Music was provided by singers Charlotte Moore of Ellington MO, and Tom Beck. The organist was Tom Sieberg. Everyone did a wonderful job. The ceremony remains a wonderful memory.

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Easter Expectations

We hope every member of Second will seek to implement this simple plan for the unchurched as we approach Easter. One, pray for them. During Holy Week, prayerwalk your neighborhood; ask God to send neighbors your way so that you can invite them to Easter services. Choose one or two close friends or family members to pray for specifically. Without prayer, there can be no blessing on our efforts.

Two, invite them to come to Easter services. Surveys show the unchurched in the USA are more likely to come to church on Easter than on any other Sunday. Three, sit with them in church. We have no Sunday School classes that day. This gives you the perfect chance to give your undivided attention to an unchurched friend. Your presence beside them will be the most helpful thing you can do to make them feel comfortable in unfamiliar surroundings.

Four, take them to eat, or have them in your home for lunch. The latter is what Ruth and I will be doing with the two friends we have coming with us. Eating with them shows you care for them as people, not as notches on a belt to denote conquest. Five, invest in them. We want this Easter to affect every day thereafter. If an unchurched person comes with you on Easter, they are opening a door for further interaction. Don't waste the opportunity.

Twitter and Facebook: john316marshall

Baptist Freedom

What is the best gift Baptists have bequeathed to the people of this world? Immersion in water, once saved always saved, Bible authority, or religious liberty?

We have made huge contributions in all these areas, but religious liberty is our chief gift. I've long known Baptists championed freedom of worship, but not until my research of recent days have I realized we stood alone on the issue for over 100 years.

Our forebears paid a terrible price to pass this rare and precious jewel to the masses. We Baptists have plenty of weaknesses to humble us, but on this issue, we have always stood tall. Makes me glad to be a Baptist.

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Missions Can Be a Zoo

Last Sunday night we gave $65,000, including over $2000 in change and currency from our children, to help Baptist Global Response minister to people's physical needs around the world.  If we were to gather all the animals we are providing, we would have our own zoo.  For you who like lists, here's the rundown on what we bought.

28 $1000 water systems for developing countries; 139 $25 water filters for a family; 88 $35 sewing machines; 29 $100 AIDS in-home care kits; 284 $5 mosquito nets; 79 $20 blankets; 124 $15 chickens; 81 $25 pairs of rabbits; 111 $50 goats; 41 $250 cows; 60 $50 stocked fish ponds.

Thank you, Second Baptist. Ruth and I radically love you.

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