Is Hound Dog an Insult?

Sam and jumped on the trampoline yesterday afternoon. Sam is addicted to the song “Hound Dog.” He will listen to it over and over and over again until he finally runs down the battery on my iPhone.

While we were lying down on the trampoline, he was playing “Hound Dog” full guns blazing. I noticed Jake and Millie were only a few feet away. Being a caring kind of guy, I tried to imagine how they must have felt at hearing this song.

“You ain’t nothing but a hound dog.” Is that an ethnic slur in dog-world? “A-crying all the time.” Is this an impossible accusation? Can dogs cry, or do they only whine, and howl at the moon? “They said you was high class.” This got their hopes up. I felt confidence rising from them. “Well that was just a lie.” A staggering blow, after getting their hopes up. “You ain’t never caught a rabbit.” Few things could be more crushing than to be accused of failing in this most basic function dogs are expected to perform. “You ain’t no friend of mine.” How is man’s best friend supposed to respond to a statement like this? Oh mercy, I’ll have to buy Jake and Millie anti-depression medicine soon, all because of Elvis. I’m feeling all shook up. Sorry.