We live in a confusing world. I am one of the world's least techno-
savvy people, and yet, I have blogged for years, and recently I joined
Twitter.
Now--drumroll please--if all goes according to Hoyle, I will begin
Facebook tomorrow. Wow. Blog, Twitter, Facebook. I feel like a crop
duster pilot who's trying to fly the Space Shuttle.
Twitter @john316marshall
Speaking of Ruth, she had a terrible nightmare last night. True
story. A thief stole her purse. She chased him, screaming, "Take my
purse, but not my iPhone!!". The word addiction comes to mind. I may
someday become an iWidower.
The baptistry will be filled with water. We will provide everything
people need, clothes, robes, hair dryers, etc. After a short sermon
we will encourage people to come to be baptized right away. Pray.
Had over 2000 for the symphony/Big Smith/heritage of hymns concert.
Heard everything from Bach to Rock. The crowd loved it. Over 30
churches were represented in the choir.
I'm exhausted but fulfilled. Should sleep well after preaching three
times this morning, spending the afternoon in my office, and spending
tonight at a two-hour concert.
This "No Regrets" sermon series has been good for me. I'm setting
things right in my own life. Tomorrow's topic is baptism. Pray
people will come to see its importance.
A lady in Indonesia has given birth to the largest newborn ever. 19
pounds. Wow. He could join the WWF. The doctor said the baby has
the loudest cry he's ever heard. No surprise.
My Grandpa Hill weighed 15 pounds at birth. His mother was a huge
lady. No one knew she was pregnant till just before the birth.
Here's an oddity. Grandpa never had a weight problem. He was thin
all 90 years of his life. I guess my problem has been I was born too
small.
I filled my huge tea glass with Realemon and two huge lemons. I then
somehow went brain dead, and filled the glass with milk. I
immediately poured the milk into the sink, but by then all the lemon
effect went down the drain too.
I then poured a bowl of cereal, and in a stroke of genius, covered it
with, no not tea, but milk. Started to eat. The milk had gone sour.
Grabbed my tea jug to wash it down. It tasted like sour, milky,
lemony tea.
You know you had a tough breakfast when the tastiest part of it was
your seven heart pills.
Unity Church has called for Clay's ordination. We are in the process of
making arrangements to have the service here at Second. Pray for Clay and
Erin as they begin their first pastorate.
Returned to a pile of work. There's never a shortage of things to do. I'm
extremely tired (got home about 11 last night), but love what I'm doing.
God has blessed me every direction I turn. Thank you, Lord.
Humor helps. Bulletin bloopers. The couple requests your presents at their
wedding (How true!). Bless the Lord, and forget all His benefits (Happens
way too often). Lent prepares us for holy weed and Easter. The lovers in
the exhaust fan are not working.
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There's serious talk too. Budgets in economic hard times. Dealing
with staff issues. Avoiding moral failure. Finding enough time to
rest. Preaching styles, etc.
Our group will spend four more hours together this morning and then
we'll return to our churches. The benefits of our meeting are
extended through the books we recommend to each other.
By the way, did I mention we discuss how to use modern technology
effectively? Wow. Some of these guys have all the bells and
whistles. John the Baptist and Paul the Apostle would be impressed.
Cowboys lost. When you're a Cowboys fan, as I am, Mondays are tough.
My son-in-law, also a fan, says decades are tough. Mighty Casey has
struck out again and again and again, etc.
I will be meeting overnight with a few Pastor friends to discuss our
ministries. As iron sharpens iron, we sharpen one another.
I love antique cars. The 1963 Ford Falcon remains the greatest car
ever made in the USA. I bought my first one for $75. No heat, no
air, no radio, no automatic transmission. It was burgundy, with a
silver fender due to a wreck.
On a cold December morning, I totalled it in St. Louis. My only
regret is that I forgot to retrieve my "Jesus Save" license plate
before the wrecker hauled off the car.
That month wasn't a total disaster. On December 22, 1970, Ruth
consented to marry me.
My 45 years of fascination with the Beatles leaves me in a quandary.
Their early music was simple, clean, and incredibly good.
But then came the dark years. John's pompous remark about Jesus,
vulgar song lyrics, degenerate lives. It all ended in a moral cesspool.
I have decided to enjoy the early Beatles. Their re-mastered CDs have
just been released. I bought only the first four they did. I'll
leave the rest to others.
Paul became a Catholic. George became an orthodox Christian. John
dabbled with Christianity, due to Yoko's parents' faith. Ringo has
not shown much spiritual interest.
They and their Pastor, Jeff Williams, have a heart hot for the Great
Commission. My heart was stirred again for unbelievers.
Speaking of missions, IMB President Jerry Rankin yesterday announced
his resignation. He has been a dear friend and confidante to me. I
will miss him.
As I write these words, our church staff is having a surprise
celebration for Russell and Lucille Sanders. Today is their 60th
wedding anniversary. Lucille must have been 10 when they married.
I wonder if Russell is wearing his "I Like Ike" tie and button in
honor of the occasion. Surely not.
Went to Ian's open house at Carpenter's Kids at South Haven. My
grandchildren bring me great pleasure.
Preached John 14:1-6 at Mary Manus' funeral. She was a Sunday School
teacher for sixty years. Unpaid volunteers are the true heroes of the
faith.
I felt faint all day. With the help of Debbie Ream, who has helped me
often through the past 5 years, I made it through three sermons
without collapsing off the platform.
Here's the really sad part. Why is it that when my medicine goes
awry, only my blood gets thinner? I have a waistline that would love
to get in on the act.
I couldn't resist. The button was in mint condition and cost only
$1. When I gave it to Russell, he was really touched.
We were admiring its pristine beauty when Russell noticed it said on
the back side that it was made in 2007. I was stunned and embarrassed.
My only consolation is that Russell now owns an authentic 2007 I Like
Ike button. Good grief!!
Over 1000 Fox Trotters have been entered for the competitions. Over
7000 people will be present Saturday night for the World Championship.
We were the guests of one of our Professional Assistants here at
church, Monica Senter. Her dad will be inducted into the Fox Trotter
Association Hall of Fame Saturday night. No small accolade.
Ruth and I are watching our calories. After one meal, Ruth checked a
calorie chart to see how much damage we had done. She gasped out
loud, "This says we would have to walk 200 miles to burn off that
meal." Wow. I knew it was a bit much, but 200 miles?
I was envisioning Ruth and me walking all the way to St. Louis. She
then held the book a bit closer, took off her glasses, squinted, and
said, "I'm sorry. It's 200 minutes, not miles."
I don't know why we were so relieved. A 200-minute walk is not
trite. Speaking of food, I had salsa and pickles for breakfast.
Don't face the day. Attack it.
The trait that stands out most is the use of their voices to simulate
the sound of instruments. They sound like they have a full band
behind them, but it's only human voices. Trust me. You won't believe
it, even when you are sitting there, seeing and hearing it in person.
I'm back in the office this morning. Slipped in last night to work
under the radar screen. Got a lot done. Helped me sleep better,
knowing I didn't have any fires to put out.
John, Amanda, Caleb, and Sam were not able to join us. They were in
Ohio visiting her family.
Ruth and I check out of our condo at 11 am. We will then eat and do a
little shopping. Our vacation will come to an exciting end at the 2
pm Six musical show. Ruth has wanted to see them for a long time.
Her wish is my command today.
Look out, Springfield, here we come!!
There were more people out and about than I expected yesterday
morning. Branson is home to a good number of churches.
Many entertainment venues offer Sunday worship services. When I
become a travel agent booking trips to Branson, I'll have Ruth play
the piano and I'll preach on Sunday mornings for our tour groups.
Fox News reported women with thin thighs die younger. When I read
this headline out loud, Rebekah said. "I will live to be 250." Ruth
said, "I am approaching immortality."
Traffic has been bumper to bumper this holiday weekend in Branson.
Everything has ground to a halt. Gridlock comes to mind. I wonder if
there will be a traffic jam on the way to church. I hope so.
I intend to park in guest parking. I've always wanted to do that.
Some people don't join churches because they hate to give up their
privileged parking spot.
Ben is preaching all three morning services at Second. He's good. Be
blessed.
I would sell a simple package built around a daily threefold
itinerary. Travelers would each day see one show, eat one meal out,
and read one book. That's what I've done. Oh, and one more thing.
Bring someone as wonderful as Ruth along with you.
And wait!! One more thing. Have your grandchildren come and spend
two days with you in the condo. Yes, Ian and Lilly Ruth are headed
here today. They are bringing their mom and dad too. Ruth and I can
hardly wait.
I know what you're thinking. Are Jake, Millie, and Sophie coming? No.
Yep, I plan to make a fortune planning people's trips to Branson.
I'll do the first one in 2018. I'll keep you posted.
The Twelve Irish Tenors were wonderful. Actually, there were only 11,
one was sick. They did fine without him. I do so desperately want to
be a tenor in Heaven. They always get top billing.
Went to Dixie Stampede last night. Raw, raucous, and a rippingly good
riot. We laughed the whole time. Even the preshow was mesmerizing.
By the way, the food at Dixie Stampede is second to none. I love food.
The Moscow Circus performers are stunning. Those guys who can kick
their legs out while in a squatting position are painful to watch. If
I ever tried to do that, a crane would have to pick me up and put me
in the ambulance. If you ever see me about to try that feat, please
call 9-1-1 in advance.
Ruth has a date this morning with 13 men. Twelve Irish Tenors and one
Southeast Missouri Baritone. She doesn't know they have heard I'm
coming and intend to have me sing the national anthem of Ireland.
Just kidding.
I saw a sign that said Silver Dollar City serves 40,000 pieces of
fried chicken during the Gospel Music Festival. That's a lot of
religious calories and cholestoral.
I'm not surprised chicken dominates the festival. The Gospel Bird has
long been a staple of Baptist life. Chicken jokes abound.
A Baptist preacher's belt is a fence around a chicken graveyard. On
Sunday, when chickens see the preacher coming for Sunday dinner, they
run to the back of the farm.
A true story. At my brother's ordination, the last question asked him
was, "Do you like chicken?" He said yes and everyone laughed. Over
the years I have wondered if he could have been ordained had he said no.
A second book is about Christian manliness. By the time I finished
reading it, I was feeling like a woos, a world-class sissy, but Ruth
says I'm a real man. I humbly accept her verdict. She has never lied
to me.
The third book deals with the danger of being a leader without keeping
our spiritual batteries charged. This kind of book always sends me on
guilt trip, but I also find them very helpful.
This morning I began a book dealing with the worldwide spread of
religion, a phenomenon none of the pundits foresaw. I will keep you
posted.
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