Paraprosdokians

My ever humorous cyberspace friend, Pat Day, has introduced me to a totally new concept. Paraprosdokians are figures of speech where the last part of the sentence is totally unexpected, and thus usually humorous. Winston Churchill loved paraprosdokians. We're at the end of a long work week. Maybe a few from Pat would brighten the start of our weekend.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it's still on my list. Light travels faster than sound; this is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. You're never too old to learn something stupid (I can relate to this one).

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. You need a parachute to skydive only if you plan to do it twice. Evening news starts with "Good evening," and then proceeds to tell why it isn't. On my application, when I see "In case of emergency, notify whom?" I write "Doctor." Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

In life, humor helps. When you quit laughing, you might as well quit, because when you're through laughing, you're through.

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