Mark McGwire

While much of the country is gorging on sports after having gorged on
food, let me interrupt our holiday complacency with a controversial
blog.
People who think Mark McGwire should be in the baseball Hall of Fame
may have valid reasons for thinking so.

Did he take body enhancing substances? Yes, but none of them were
banned by baseball then. He broke no official rule. Many think it's
unfair extend a rule into the past. We don't allow it in our judicial
system.

In most cases like this I favor swift stout penalties. But I have to
admit McGwire's supporters can build a case for saying his situation
is marked by extenuating circumstances.

Many think McGwire should be in Cooperstown because he brought
baseball back from the brink of annihilation. Some of us are old
enough to remember how disgusted even the most loyal fans were with
baseball after the players strike.

Many felt baseball would never recover. The homerun races between
McGwire and Sosa resurrected baseball. Their heroics brought it back
to life. They did for baseball after the strike what Babe Ruth did for
it after the Black Sox scandal.

People smarter than I am will have to make the Hall of Fame decision.
I'm just a lowly Cardinals fan who is glad Mark is returning to the
Cardinals as their hitting coach. I hope he and Pujols become the best
of friends.

Twitter @john316marshall
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Tony LaRussa

I just finished reading a biography of the Cardinals manager. Lots of
interesting info.

He is a lawyer. When he signed as a young man to play baseball he
promised his mom he would finish college. It took him seven years but
he kept his promise. He then went on to law school.

He is a complex figure. Intense. Hot tempered. Baseball genius.
Extremely liked. Extremely disliked. Winning is all that matters.
Animal rights activist.

I wish the author would have told something about Tony's religious
views. It's impossible to understand anyone until you know their
spiritual outlook. It affects everything else.

LaRussa is now 65 years old. I think he still has a lot baseball
victories left in him. At least I hope so. Go Cards. Go Pujols.

Twitter @john316marshall
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Revivals and Football

Capital One Football Week(s) is upon us. Watching football, something
we usually do once a week, is for this week or two a daily event.

Reminds me of the old revival meetings we used to have twice a year.
I can still remember the last two-week revival meetings I attended.

I was too young to drive, and rode with Dad every night for two weeks
to a meeting he preached in Commerce MO. For the next two weeks I
attended a revival every night in my home church. I went to church
essentially every night in August that year.

Speaking of concentrated church attendance, Ed Meyer and I had a
mutual friend, Carey Miller, who was one of the most effective and
powerful evangelists we ever knew. He preached 26 Sunday to Sunday
revivals a year.

He preached 4 times on both Sundays, and noon and night the other 6
days. Yep. Add 'em up. Twenty services in one week. We don't do
concentrated church much any more. Maybe this tells us something
about ourselves.

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Reflections

I had a perfect birthday yesterday. Ruth masterminded it all, of
course. Mom and Dad came; the trip is getting harder for them to make
as time passes. My brother Charles and sister Esther came from St.
Louis.

John, Amanda, Nathan, and Rebekah were here, as were all 4 of my
wonderful grandchildren. We partied hard.

I am now two times older than anyone in their 20s, three times older
than all teenagers, four times older than pre-teens. But it doesn't
bother me one whit.

I feel incredibly good. When I close my eyes and ponder my life, I
feel as healthy and as strong as I did when I played basketball at age
15, married Ruth at 19, and received my doctorate at 23.

My problems begin when I open my eyes and see a mirror. "Who is that
old guy?" I wonder for half a second. Then I smile and reflect, "Life
is good. God has drawn the lines for me in pleasant places."

Twitter @john316marshall
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Bible 2010

My friend Paul Bowen said he's tried to read the Bible through in one
year, but always stumbles in the book of Numbers. Let me make a
suggestion that might help many of you.

Every January I read Psalms, Proverbs, and Matthew. This allows me to
read some of my favorite Bible books at the start of the year, and
gives me a feeling of accomplishment before February arrives.

I then read a different Gospel every quarter. This keeps me close to
Jesus in every part of the year. I go back and forth from New
Testament to Old Testament throughout the year.

I have other little things I do, but these at least get you started
with a workable plan. If you want one of my printed Bible reading
guides, call my assistant Angie at 417-887-3111 x110. They are free
and easily reproducible.

Twitter @john316marshall
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Elliptical Religion

I came downstairs to walk on the elliptical. I had my large print
Bible at the ready, but saw another book on the elliptical.

It was Ruth's Bible lying open. Nearby was Lloyd Ogilvie's book
"Quiet Moments With God." Ruth's Bible was carefully marked and not
large print. Thus I reverently removed it, set it by Ogilvie's book,
and started my own stationary run (walk) through Acts 13-19 with the
Apostle Paul.

In 22 minutes he and I covered Asia Minor and Europe. Faster than a
speeding bullet.

When Paul and I finished our missionary work, I removed my Bible and
dutifully returned Ruth's to its rightful spot Let me encourage you
to have a prayer closet and a Bible elliptical.

www.yeebird.blogspot.com
Twitter @john316marshall
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Adoniram Judson

When we last night ordained Ngun Iap, Pastor of our Burmese church, I
felt myself caught up in history, suddenly living in the train of
Adoniram Judson.

I realized I was seeing fleshed out what can happen as a result of
laboring in an unreached people group. Judson labored for years
before winning one convert. But now, 200 years later, over 80% of
Burma's Chin people are Christians.

Pastor Ngun says Judson is their hero, and they consider the USA their
motherland, because we sent the Gospel to Burma.

Hopefully a similar day of triumph will be celebrated among our UPG,
the Bells of China. We adopted them in 1997. The latest estimate is
that 600 Bells are now Christ-followers.

Twitter @john316marshall
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Best President Trivia Ever!!

I always have enjoyed trivia. My close friend in St Louis, John
Wonsewitz, says I am the world's largest compendium of useless
information.

On Facebook I read the other day that President John Tyler still had
two grandsons living. Impressive. It would not let me go. I had to
dig this one out for myself, because if it's true, it has to be the
biggest President trivia fact of my existence.

Oh my goodness!! It is true. Let me tell you how impossible this
seems. John Tyler was born in 1790, when George Washington was
President. As a boy, Tyler attended Washington's funeral.

When 63 years old, Tyler fathered Lyon Tyler in 1853. At ages 71 and
75, Lyon gave birth to Lyon Jr and Harrison Tyler in 1924 and 1928.
Both are still living. I wonder if they plan to have more children.
Look out, Abraham and Sarah.

iTunes Ruth Marshall
Family blog www.yeebird.blogspot.com
Twitter @john316marshall
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USMC Lt. Josh Hill

My first cousin once removed is in town. He's on his way from
California to Virginia to continue his military training. He drove
2000 miles in two days, and has another 1000 to go. Oh to be young
again.

My weight has skyrocketed in recent weeks. I was depressed when I got
up to 205. Now I'm at 212. Yep. Read it and weep. My situation is
made worse by the fact we still have 3 weeks of Christmas parties and
feasts yet to enjoy. I need a miracle. No kidding. Pray.

Humor helps. Doctors' comments on patient charts. The patient has
been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. 69 year old male,
mentally alert but forgetful. Patient refused an autopsy. Patient
had no past history of suicide.

iTunes Ruth Marshall
Twitter @john316marshall
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Frozen Custard Anyway

I asked why I would be at Andy's Frozen Custard when the temperature
was 22 degrees. Here are FB/Twitter responses.

Why? Grandchildren of course. Because it's wonderful. Makes it fun
to be a kid awhile. It's never too cold for Andy's.

Makes me a little insane for a taste of its goodness. To stand under
their heater? Helps add an all-important layer of fat to our bodies
which insulate us from the cold.

My favorite comes from missionaries to Asia. Sounds so good. Wish we
could eat some. 3 more years. Enjoy it for us.

In light of this plea from missionaries, I feel I would be derelict of
duty if I did not regularly go to Andy's for them vicariously.

Twitter @john316marshall
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Christmas in the air!!

Uncle Phil's Diner was a scream last night. We were laughing our
heads off. The songs, choreography, and acting were superb. Last
night was a full house. Tonight is already sold out. I will find out
by Sunday how availability is for Monday and Tuesday nights.

Speaking of Christmas, my daughter has gone hogwild on her blog http//:www.yeebird.blogspot.com
. I noticed she had been putting new posts up daily with family craft
Christmas ideas. I asked her yesterday, "You're not going to do this
every day till Christmas, are you?"
"Yes I am." Wow. She is a plethora of Christmas originality.

Florida plays Alabama tomorrow for the SEC championship. My loyalties
are torn. Florida's Tebow is a wonderful Christian, but almost all my
friends are Alabama fans. One thing I know (I think). The winner of
this game will go on to win the national championship.

Twitter @john316marshall
www.facebook.com/john316marshall

November 31

I looked at my watch to check the date. It said Nov 31. Even early
in the morning I knew that was fishy. As I moved my clock date
forward, I suddenly realized it's December. What happened to the rest
of 2009. Why has it been in such a hurry to leave? Slow down, Time.

As you know, I am exhilarated at Pujol's selection as NL MVP. The
other day I heard he and Kurt Warner had recently met.

Wow. There's a dynamic duo, not only for sports, but also for the
Lord. Both married Godly women who led them to Jesus. Both have
special needs children. Both are sterling examples for Christ. Thus
far they have been good role models for the younger generation. Yay
Jesus.

iTunes Ruth Marshall
Twitter @john316marshall
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Sermons X 3

I preached three times this morning. I do love to preach. In fact, I
would rather preach than eat. That's really saying something, when
you consider how much I love to eat.

Speaking of eating, I am completely aggravated at myself. I gained
three pounds in three days. This morning I felt like a bloated cow.
Interesting. If you want to feel like a cow, eat like a pig. Huh?

I have been watching Brett Favre play football. He's the old guy who
is making an unbelievable comeback. For those of us who are a bit
more mature than others, but who think our best days are yet ahead,
Favre is our patron saint. Play on, Methuselah.

Twitter @john316marshall
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Funniest and Best

Here are my picks for the funniest and best Facebook posts I read
about Black Friday. Guarding the cart while the family shops. Home
from shopping, now I'm dropping. Out in the shopping madness, I must
be crazy. In line at Toys R Us, not to shop, but to laugh at crazy
moms.

Glorious time to be grocery shopping, I have whole aisles to myself.
It's good to have money flowing again, think of holiday shopping as
patriotism in action.

This isn't shopping, it's army maneuvers. Trying to get out of town,
but trapped by psychotic sale shoppers. Did my shopping at 1am in my
jammies at home.

My diet for today, celery and water. Lost my love of mankind. Need
sleep, too old for saving few dollars. It has been a good Black
Friday, our checkbook is still in the black.

I know of a Friday far blacker than this one.

ITunes Ruth Marshall
Twitter @john316marshall
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Wife and daughter

I am proud of my Ruthie. She has plowed her way through a
bureaucratic maze to get her piano music on iTunes.

She has always had grit aplenty to tackle new technologies. Go to
iTunes and type in "Ruth Marshall" for some excellent Christmas music
and hymns.

I am proud of Rebekah. Her scrap booking and craft blog http://www.yeebird.blogspot.com
has been turning heads.

The powers that be at KY-3 have asked her to do a couple of
demonstrations of her work on their weekend morning show at 7am this
Saturday, Nov 28. Want some crafty ideas for Christmas? Tune her in.

Twitter @john316marshall
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Tim Tebow

When my friend Gary Crawford, Pastor at Westside Baptist Church near
the University of Florida campus, lost his wife Freda, the second
telephone call he received was from Tim Tebow, possibly the best and
most famous player in college football. He was the first sophomore to
win the Heisman Trophy.

Tebow is an outstanding Christian gentleman. He is a self-proclaimed
virgin who is saving himself for marriage.

Tebow was born in the Philippines. His parents were Christian
missionaries. He and his siblings were homeschooled by their mother.

Tebow first caught my attention during a national championship game.
I saw "John 3:16" inscribed in his eye black. Evidently a lot of
other people did too. That night "John 3:16" was the most popular
search item on Google.

Tim has been blessed by Westside's ministry to college students. I'm
proud of the fact He called Gary.

Twitter @john316marshall
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1268

Operation Christmas Child experienced a record crop at Second this
year: 1268 shoeboxes. Half of these were made possible by our youth
department. Way to go, Ken Goodman, youth workers, and teenagers.

Speaking of children, I must tell you two precious things I heard at
church yesterday. I saw a 4-year-old child pat her pregnant mother on
the stomach and say, "Take good care of your tummy, Mommy."

Another girl in our church is memorizing the names of the books of the
Bible. She saw Psalms on her printed list and called it "The Book of
Possums." I love being a Pastor.

Twitter @john316marshall
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News

As we approach this final weekend for Operation Christmas Child, I
urge you to fill a shoebox or two before Sunday night. We will bring
our shoeboxes to the altar in our Sunday evening worship.

Keep bringing can goods to feed the poor through Grand Oak. I am
proud of you.

Four-year-old Ian: "Grandma, do you know why Ironman is called
Ironman?" "No, why?" "Because his clothes are ironed."

iTunes Ruth Marshall
Twitter @john316marshall
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Ruth iTunes Marshall

You read it right. Ruth is on iTunes. Go to iTunes, type in Ruth
Marshall, and boom!! There they are--her Christmas CD and her Hymns CD.

Move over, Elvis and the Beatles. Ruth is muscling her way in. I
cannot tell you how proud I am of my sweet Babe, Babe Ruth. Because
of her, cyberspace sounds prettier tonight.

Bob Roberts told me today that Grand Oak Mission says Second's food
and financial donations for November are running ahead of what we did
last year. One of our families purcased a pick-up truck load of food
and delivered it straight to Grand Oak.

Thank you, my dear people. You are the giving-est people I have ever
known.

Speaking of your generosity, Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes need
to be turned in this Sunday night, November 22.

Twitter @john316marshall
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Segars Coming

People keep asking when the Segars family will arrive. The answer is,
early January.

My daughter's blog http://www.yeebird.blogspot.com has some good
pictures and info about the Segars. She reminded us we Marshalls will
now have shared the ministry with three generations of the Segars,
dating all the way back to 1977.

When you add the fact Ruth's mom knew Bro. Van's mom, that means our
lives have shared four generations. It is good to be close to them
again.

Shane's first love in the ministry is discipleship. Janelle is a very
gifted administrator. Taylor and Ben are sports enthusiasts; they
write a weekly sports email newsletter I subscribe to. Riley is into
drama; he has a major role in a Christmas production right now. Caden
is everyone's Teddy Bear.

They have sold their house in Alabama, and have bought a house here.
Pray for closings, packing, moving, and adjusting to the Ozarks.

Twitter @john316marshall
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Gary Crawford

Gary's wife went to Heaven yesterday after many years of fighting cancer.
Gary is Pastor at Westside Baptist Church in Gainesville FL. He and I met
on mission trip to China in 1997. We two strangers spent a tough night in a
communist compound and have been close friends ever since. Gary came out of
a mission trip to Russia under gunfire, but said the night we spent in the
compound was much scarier.

I don't think about that night much. It's long ago now. Gary's loss of
Freda makes that distant memory seem like a party. To lose yourself, your
other self, your better (truly) half, is a grief I'd rather not contemplate.
I hugged Ruth extra hard this morning.

Pray for Gary and the family. Pray for Westside Baptist Church.

Follow me on Twitter @john316marshall
Read my blog at www.secondbaptist.org

Watch our Sunday services live on the internet, www.secondbaptist.org, at
8am, 9:30am, 11am, and 6pm, USA Central Time.

Duck Quack Theology

One of my favorite trivia questions just bit the dust. What is the
unique feature of a duck's quack? It won't echo. Wrong!!! I am
crushed.

My confidence began to stumble when my son-in-law challenged my thesis
by boldly saying he knew geese honking echoed because he could hear it
off the side of his brick house.

I immediately rose to the challenge. Google was my weapon of choice.
I typed in "Do duck quacks echo?" The answer: "Yes." The non-echoing
duck quack theory is a myth.

Nathan was gracious in victory, but I don't handle defeat well. I'm
shaken. I wonder how many other facts I may be wrong about. I'm
reminded. Even theologians need to be humble about their theological
beliefs. Quack.

Twitter @john316marshall
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Sleep Driving

I preached a missions sermon last night at First Baptist Church Union
MO. On the way home, about 11:45 pm, I was getting sleepy. Ruth woke
up in the back seat and said, "I've had a good nap, let me drive." I
said something in response. The back seat was silent. I looked at
Caleb and said, "Remember, this is the person who wanted to drive for
us."

Second has sole responsibility for feeding Springfield through Grand
Oak Mission throughout November. Load up your shopping carts. Fill
your car trunks. Let's share our bounty with the poor.

Tomorrow night we will host the ordination of Clay DeWoody to the
Gospel ministry. Clay grew up at Second, graduated from Southwestern
Seminary, and is the new Pastor at Unity Baptist Church in Fayette
MO. It's always an honor to ordain one of our own.

Twitter @john316marshall
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Cyberspacing

Yes, you read it right. I have created a new word, a prerogative I
like to exercise at times. Cyberspacing refers to things people do in
cyberspace.

Why create a word? Here's my story. I have kept a diary every day
since July 20, 1976, the day Viking I landed on Mars. Each day I
chronicle activities I've done. I grew weary of repeatedly writing
out emailed, texted, blogged, tweeted, and Face Booked. I decided to
lump them under one umbrella. Presto!! Cyberspacing.

I'm reminded of President Jackson's response when someone made fun of
his spelling. "It's a very narrow way of thinking to say a word can
be spelled only one way." I think it's a very narrow way of thinking
to say a noun cannot be verbized. Did I just create another new word?

Twitter @john316marshall
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Why The Yankees?

What makes a long term champion? Why are the Yankees always around?
Grandpa knew of Babe and Lou. Dad watched Joe. I was a rabid fan of
Mickey (I still try to imitate his walk). And now my grandsons know
about the Bronx Bombers.

What's the deal? Our first response is always "Infinite Money." That
certainly helps, but can't explain it all. Surely some of it has to
do with heritage and legacy, always knowing you have a huge past to
live up to. Over the entrance to the Yankees clubhouse is DiMaggio's
quote, "It's a privilege to be a Yankee."

Some of it has to do with the New York City mystique. You're just
expected to do better in the Big Apple. This hasn't helped the Mets,
though.

Okay. I give up. Maybe it is the money. I wonder if Bill Gates and
Warren Buffett would like to buy the Cardinals.

Twitter @john316marshall
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Luther's Day

Happy Reformation Day. On this date in 1517 Luther nailed his 95
theses to the Wittenberg door. John Piper says Luther then took his
hammer and nails home and went to bed. Let me add, Luther fell
asleep; the world woke up.

If the Lord gives me strength, I will live long enough to celebrate
the 500th anniversary of the moment. Maybe Ruth and I will make a
pilgrimage to Germany that year. I wonder if the original door still
exists. If it does, I would probably stand in front of it and weep
like a blubbering idiot. Martin Luther, we stand at the salute.
Thank you.

Treatsville is ready to happen. We have about 170,000 pieces of
candy, and expect about 1200 trick or treaters. Come join the fun
5:30 to 8:00 pm.

Twitter @john316marshall
www.facebook.com/john316marshall

MO Baptist Conv 2009

This year's convention is over. I feel it was the best in recent
memory. Having long traversed troubled waters, it was good to hear MO
Baptists laughing again.

The preaching and singing were superb. The high water mark was the
installation of Dr. David Tolliver as our new Executive Director. His
sermon was powerful, as was Dr. Bruce McCoy's President's address.

All four convention officers were reelected. I think this is a plus
for Missouri Baptists. It provides good stability for our convention.

The lawsuit issue was referred to the Executive Board. I think this
is wise. It gives authority to the group that is privy to all
information about the lawsuits. Pray for wisdom.

Twitter @john316marshall
www.facebook.com/john316marshall

Ruth Jammin'

Ruth has bought an electric guitar. All through our married life she
has often said she wanted to learn how to play the guitar. She is now
finally taking the plunge.

I'm proud of Ruth. If she plays the guitar anywhere near as well as
she plays the piano, she'll be snatched up by a famous rock and roll
band, making so much money that we'll be able to retire early. Rock
on, Ruthie.

Twitter @john316marshall
www.facebook.com/john316marshall

Don't Dabble

Since the missions revival began at Second 12 years ago, I've been
repeatedly saying a church not directly involved in China and India is
not in earnest about the Great Commission. When it comes to these two
nations, if you want to please God, don't dabble. Go whole hog.

I've been to both countries, and Second has been deeply involved in
each. Now that my cardiologist has given me a green light for travel
in Asia, I'm heading back to India next year with a group from our
church.

I feel like I'm back in the game. The adrenalin is pumping. Look
out, Asia.

Twitter @john316marshall
www.facebook.com/john316marshall

While I slept

Where have I been these last few years? Social networking changed the
world while I was comatose.

I've learned things this week about Twitter and Facebook that are
numbing my brain. I'm seeing glimmers of the possibilities they offer
for tremendous Kingdom impact.

They are not a slam dunk though. Neither is for the faint of heart
nor for those who want to stay cloistered in their ivory towers. Nor
should they be the instrument of choice for the undisciplined. If you
can't set it aside and walk away from it in a timely manner, don't
start it. It can be addicting.

What about me? Put your ear up against this computer screen. Do you
hear barking in the background? This old dog is getting ready to
learn some new techno tricks.

If you want to run in this pack with me, try out Twitter
@john316marshall
and www.facebook.com/john316marshall

Mo Baptist Conv 2009

Missouri Baptists gather next week at FBC Raytown for their annual
meeting. It's shaping up to be a huge convention. Controversy
regarding the lawsuits seems to be a motivating factor in large
numbers of messengers planning to attend this year's meeting.

My three fellow officers and I are running for reelection. Working
with them has been a delight. President Bruce McCoy, 2nd Vice
President Mitch Jackson, and Recording Secretary Jamie Hitt are very
deserving of having a second term.

These are good days in MBC life. Our new Executive Director David
Tolliver is doing a good job of bringing us together. I hope the
messengers in Raytown will let our current officers have another year
to work with Dr Tolliver as we try to continue making forward progress
as a convention.

Twitter @john316marshall
www.facebook.com/john316marshall

Techno Learners

Ruth and I are struggling to find our way in this modern age we live
in. Blogs boggle the mind. Emails emaciate energy. Texts are a
Texas-size pain. Twitter twittles away time. Facebook fans are
fanatics.

Ruth and I love every second of it, but scramble to keep up. Last
night we spent the evening alone, reading in Twitter and Facebook
books for dummies.

At times we were too dumb to be called dummies. At other times we
were good dummies. Of course, even a gifted dummy is still a dummy.

And then, to top off our night of frustration, someone tweeted me a
quote from John Piper saying Twitter and Facebook are God's way of
proving to us we are not too busy to pray. Good grief. In addition
to frustration, now I bear guilt.

Before you take time today to check my blog, tweets, and Facebook,
please take a moment to pray. I will feel less guilty that way.

Twitter @john316marshall
www.facebook.com/john316marshall

Victory Garden 2009

2600. The number of families our Victory Garden helped feed this Summer.

When Bob Roberts first talked to me about our church putting out a Victory
Garden, I flinched. I spent enough time on Grandpa's farm to know how much
work would be involved. My optimism was nonexistent.

But then the summer developed. People by the scores began volunteering to
help till, plant, and sow the 3.5 acres. Day after day trucks left the
garden with food for Salvation Army, Victory Mission, and Grand Oak Mission.

Bob has kept meticulous records throughout the summer. Here are some of the
totals. 3379 tomatoes, 700 squash, 800 sweet potatoes, 1240 gallons of
beans, 64 gallons of carrots, 548 gallons of Swiss Chard, 266 gallons of
okra, 36 gallons of jalapenos (hot), 182 gallons of Zucchini, over two tons
of corn. Yes, that's right, two tons. There's more, but this will suffice.

In 12 minutes I'm heading downstairs to the youth area for our celebration
with the volunteers who worked in the garden. There will be a lot of people
present. Majors Grainger of Salvation Army, Jim and Mary Harriger of
Victory Mission, plus Bob and Dinah Ensor of Grand Oak Mission will be here
to thank everyone. The Lord is good and greatly to be praised.

Follow me on Twitter @john316marshall
Read my blog at www.secondbaptist.org

The Iliad

Ulysses has nothing on me when it comes to travel adventures. Even Gulliver
would have been impressed with my saga yesterday. When I made my itinerary
to Knoxville, I had four legs of the trip to make it through. The first
three clicked like clock work.

Then came leg number four. We were delayed in boarding the plane. Then we
slowly taxied down the tarmac, about a mile the pilot said. Right at the
end of our snail's pace crawl, the pilot suddenly announced, "We have to
return to the gate. We have a fuel gauge light on."

We sat a while as the mechanic came off and on the plane. Then he gave up.
The stewardess told us we would have to deplane and await another plane. We
waited and waited. Plane arrived. Made it to Springfield three hours late.
Had done a lot of emailing, reading, calling, tweeting, facebooking, and
missing Ruth.

Humor helps. I could have used some yesterday for sure. Street oddities.
Corner of Grinn and Barrett Drives in West Chester OH. Hickory and Dickory
Avenues intersect Dock Street in Harahan LA. Corner of Ho and Hum Streets
in Carefree AZ. Haveteur Way in CA.

Follow me on Twitter @john316marshall
Read my blog at www.secondbaptist.org

TN

I'm at a Hampton Inn in Morristown, Tennessee, waiting for my ride to
the Knoxville Airport. Last night I preached for the world missions
conference at Manley Baptist Church.

In all my 42 years of preaching, this is the first church that's ever
had me come preach for them a third time on missions. I'm running out
of missions sermons. Just kidding.

My flight, of course, goes through Atlanta. Remember the old joke?
At the Rapture, everyone will go through Atlanta on their way to
Heaven. I made up a new joke. At the Rapture, everyone will go
through Atlanta on their way to Heaven, and be delayed for two hours.

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Mom's Adjustment

Ruth and I will return home this afternoon. We're pulling off an
overnighter to visit my mom.

Mom is home and doing better physically, but is overwhelmed with the
vast amount of information being thrown her away about heart trouble.
I feel for her. It truly is a whole new world.

Another disconcerting item is the huge number of pills she will now
have to take. We arrived last night in time to see her opening her
pill bottles one at a time to take her pills. Ruth promptly headed to
Walgreens to buy four pill holders for Mom. Did I mention I love my
wife? She is an angel. Pray for Mom. Thanks.

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Still Sad

It's been almost 24 hours since the Cardinals went down to ignominious
defeat, thereby eliminating themselves from the playoffs. I thought I
would be over it by now, but the sadness won't let go. Good grief.
It's a game.

Jennifer Rothschild blessed us in worship this morning. She had 1400
women attend her last ladies conference in Springfield. They are
expecting even more November 13-14. I am glad Second is hosting this
next event.

I've been figuring. You know how we mathematicians are. I have a new
fascinating number: 1,400,000. That's how many calories we need for
Treatsville October 31.

Go figure. We need 70,000 pieces of candy. If each piece has 20
calories in it. You do the math.

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Cunning Cardinals

St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa has the Los Angeles Dodgers
precisely where he wants them. He well knows overconfidence has been
the undoing of many.

By letting the Dodgers win the first two games in the playoffs, we
have lulled them into a false sense of security. They are in serious
jeapordy.

Here's my prediction. The Cardinals intend to score 20 runs in the
next two games, thereby totally crushing and demoralizing the
Dodgers. With their self esteem gone, the Dodgers will limp home,
where the Cardinals will overwhelm them in their own lair.

Never underestimate the value of a vivid imagination. I find it an
effective means of escapism.

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On the road

What a soggy trip. Ruth, Rebekah, and I left Springfield at 6:30am
headed for Jefferson City. Had a Missouri Baptist Convention meeting
till 2:30pm.

We are now on our way to St. Louis to see my mom. She is doing
better, and might come home this evening. Thanks for praying.

Our goal is to be home by 10pm. We have been in rain the whole way.
I don't want to overstate how much rain we have driven through, but
even the armadillos are crossing the road two by two.

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Mom's DNA

My mother is in a St. Louis hospital. She has an irregular heartbeat
( A-Fib). Ruth said we now know where I got it from. It's hard to
overcome your DNA. Please pray for my mom. Thanks.

Fortunately, the good news for me is that my cardiologist has given me
permission to travel again. Amen. Lord willing, I will be going to
India in 2010.

Speaking of missions, we have a lot of travel going on among our
church missionaries. Our Indonesia family is home for a family
wedding. I will eat lunch with them today.

Our India family is bringing their new baby home for everyone to see.
Our Puerto Vallarta couple is heading this way soon. Our new
missionaries to Thailand leave Monday for the Missionary Learning
Center in Richmond. Pray safety for all.

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Baptism Sunday

We baptized 53 people today. Four at the 8am service; 14 at 9:30; 8
at 11:00; 27 children tonight. The morning baptisms were impromptu.
People left their seats and came to be baptized. We provided clothes,
towels, hair dryers, and everything else they needed.

In each service, the moving of the Spirit was overwhelming. At 9:30
two young ladies came running to be baptized when they saw their dad
go under the water. At 8:00 one lady held out till the very end of
the invitation, but then suddenly gave in and walked quickly to the
front.

At 8:00 we baptized an Anglo woman, Anglo man, Hispanic woman, and an
African American man. In the morning, we baptized more men than women.

The very last baptism tonight said it all. One of our ordained
ministers baptized his daughter. He was so overcome with emotion that
he barely was able to speak. As the girl came up out of the water,
her dad lifted her from the tank, and the two enjoyed a long embrace.

This is one of those rare days where you want to stay up until
midnight to glean every blessing available on a day when God is
obviously at work.

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Camp Scrap

Another Camp Scrap has come and gone. The scrappers have to be, along
with our quilting group, the happiest, most sedate group that ever
uses our building.

I always feel safe and calm among them. No security needed. I did
have my little $3 pocket knife with me, but even with only it, I felt
over-armed.

I know what you are wondering. $3 pocket knife? Yeah, I've donated
about a dozen pocket knives to the federal government in airport
security lines. I got tired of sending money down the hole.

I now buy my pocket knives used at flea markets. Fear not. I soak
the little toothpick in bleach before I use it.

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Cheap Gas

AP News is reporting Missouri has the lowest gasoline prices of any
state in the USA. Hurray for us. Harry Truman and Mark Twain would
be proud.

We live in a confusing world. I am one of the world's least techno-
savvy people, and yet, I have blogged for years, and recently I joined
Twitter.

Now--drumroll please--if all goes according to Hoyle, I will begin
Facebook tomorrow. Wow. Blog, Twitter, Facebook. I feel like a crop
duster pilot who's trying to fly the Space Shuttle.

Twitter @john316marshall

Branson, Babe

Today I'm taking sweet babe, Ruth, to Branson. Yes, I did put the
words babe and Ruth together. I call her Babe Ruth often. It's the
greatest name in baseball, and the greatest name in women.

Speaking of Ruth, she had a terrible nightmare last night. True
story. A thief stole her purse. She chased him, screaming, "Take my
purse, but not my iPhone!!". The word addiction comes to mind. I may
someday become an iWidower.

Baptism Sunday

This coming Sunday at Second is Baptism Day. As part of the "No
Regrets" sermons, we are giving folks a chance to leave behind any
regrets about not having been baptized.

The baptistry will be filled with water. We will provide everything
people need, clothes, robes, hair dryers, etc. After a short sermon
we will encourage people to come to be baptized right away. Pray.

Had over 2000 for the symphony/Big Smith/heritage of hymns concert.
Heard everything from Bach to Rock. The crowd loved it. Over 30
churches were represented in the choir.

I'm exhausted but fulfilled. Should sleep well after preaching three
times this morning, spending the afternoon in my office, and spending
tonight at a two-hour concert.

Nervous

You'd think I would not be nervous about preaching, after 42 years of
doing it. But let me tell you. I'm anxious about preaching to our
contemporary service tomorrow. The average age of that bunch is less
than half my age. Pray I will do well and be a blessing.

This "No Regrets" sermon series has been good for me. I'm setting
things right in my own life. Tomorrow's topic is baptism. Pray
people will come to see its importance.

A lady in Indonesia has given birth to the largest newborn ever. 19
pounds. Wow. He could join the WWF. The doctor said the baby has
the loudest cry he's ever heard. No surprise.

My Grandpa Hill weighed 15 pounds at birth. His mother was a huge
lady. No one knew she was pregnant till just before the birth.
Here's an oddity. Grandpa never had a weight problem. He was thin
all 90 years of his life. I guess my problem has been I was born too
small.

Tough Breakfast

You know I can eat anything for breakfast. This morning I was
reminded even I have standards.

I filled my huge tea glass with Realemon and two huge lemons. I then
somehow went brain dead, and filled the glass with milk. I
immediately poured the milk into the sink, but by then all the lemon
effect went down the drain too.

I then poured a bowl of cereal, and in a stroke of genius, covered it
with, no not tea, but milk. Started to eat. The milk had gone sour.
Grabbed my tea jug to wash it down. It tasted like sour, milky,
lemony tea.

You know you had a tough breakfast when the tastiest part of it was
your seven heart pills.

Clay DeWoody

After the preachers' meeting yesterday, Ruth and I drove to Fayette MO to
eat lunch with the new Pastor at Unity Baptist Church. Clay DeWoody is one
of our homegrown boys. He and his wife Erin left us in 2006 to attend
seminary at Southwestern. He has graduated and is back in Missouri.

Unity Church has called for Clay's ordination. We are in the process of
making arrangements to have the service here at Second. Pray for Clay and
Erin as they begin their first pastorate.

Returned to a pile of work. There's never a shortage of things to do. I'm
extremely tired (got home about 11 last night), but love what I'm doing.
God has blessed me every direction I turn. Thank you, Lord.

Humor helps. Bulletin bloopers. The couple requests your presents at their
wedding (How true!). Bless the Lord, and forget all His benefits (Happens
way too often). Lent prepares us for holy weed and Easter. The lovers in
the exhaust fan are not working.

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Preacher-talk

Ever wonder what preachers talk about behind closed doors? They laugh
themselves silly. We all have at least one funny story to tell about
any subject that comes up.

There's serious talk too. Budgets in economic hard times. Dealing
with staff issues. Avoiding moral failure. Finding enough time to
rest. Preaching styles, etc.

Our group will spend four more hours together this morning and then
we'll return to our churches. The benefits of our meeting are
extended through the books we recommend to each other.

By the way, did I mention we discuss how to use modern technology
effectively? Wow. Some of these guys have all the bells and
whistles. John the Baptist and Paul the Apostle would be impressed.

$1,000,000,000

The Dallas Cowboys have a new stadium. They played last night in
front of 105,000 fans, the largest crowd ever to attend a USA pro
football game.

Cowboys lost. When you're a Cowboys fan, as I am, Mondays are tough.
My son-in-law, also a fan, says decades are tough. Mighty Casey has
struck out again and again and again, etc.

I will be meeting overnight with a few Pastor friends to discuss our
ministries. As iron sharpens iron, we sharpen one another.

Car Show

The Victory Mission Car Show is over. More than a hundred old cars
graced our east parking lot at church in an effort to raise funds for
Victory Mission.

I love antique cars. The 1963 Ford Falcon remains the greatest car
ever made in the USA. I bought my first one for $75. No heat, no
air, no radio, no automatic transmission. It was burgundy, with a
silver fender due to a wreck.

On a cold December morning, I totalled it in St. Louis. My only
regret is that I forgot to retrieve my "Jesus Save" license plate
before the wrecker hauled off the car.

That month wasn't a total disaster. On December 22, 1970, Ruth
consented to marry me.

Beatles Dilemma

Spent tonight playing Beatles rockband with my children and
grandchildren. Wild and crazy.

My 45 years of fascination with the Beatles leaves me in a quandary.
Their early music was simple, clean, and incredibly good.

But then came the dark years. John's pompous remark about Jesus,
vulgar song lyrics, degenerate lives. It all ended in a moral cesspool.

I have decided to enjoy the early Beatles. Their re-mastered CDs have
just been released. I bought only the first four they did. I'll
leave the rest to others.

Paul became a Catholic. George became an orthodox Christian. John
dabbled with Christianity, due to Yoko's parents' faith. Ringo has
not shown much spiritual interest.

Homeward Bound

I'm in the Atlanta airport awaiting my flight home. I preached last
night for the Missions Conference at FBC Temple Terrace (Tampa) FL.

They and their Pastor, Jeff Williams, have a heart hot for the Great
Commission. My heart was stirred again for unbelievers.

Speaking of missions, IMB President Jerry Rankin yesterday announced
his resignation. He has been a dear friend and confidante to me. I
will miss him.

As I write these words, our church staff is having a surprise
celebration for Russell and Lucille Sanders. Today is their 60th
wedding anniversary. Lucille must have been 10 when they married.

I wonder if Russell is wearing his "I Like Ike" tie and button in
honor of the occasion. Surely not.

Airport

This afternoon I scoped out the fastest route to our new Springfield
airport. I felt I would at any moment see the suburbs of Kansas
City. From my front door, it's precisely twenty miles to the airport.

Went to Ian's open house at Carpenter's Kids at South Haven. My
grandchildren bring me great pleasure.

Preached John 14:1-6 at Mary Manus' funeral. She was a Sunday School
teacher for sixty years. Unpaid volunteers are the true heroes of the
faith.

Tough Day

I preached three times today while sick. Ibuprofen I take for back
pain did not mix well with my blood thinner.

I felt faint all day. With the help of Debbie Ream, who has helped me
often through the past 5 years, I made it through three sermons
without collapsing off the platform.

Here's the really sad part. Why is it that when my medicine goes
awry, only my blood gets thinner? I have a waistline that would love
to get in on the act.

I Like Ike

In a flea market this week I saw an I Like Ike button. This captured
my fascination because the most amazing necktie in our church is
Russell Sanders' I Like Ike tie from the 1956 Presidential election.

I couldn't resist. The button was in mint condition and cost only
$1. When I gave it to Russell, he was really touched.

We were admiring its pristine beauty when Russell noticed it said on
the back side that it was made in 2007. I was stunned and embarrassed.

My only consolation is that Russell now owns an authentic 2007 I Like
Ike button. Good grief!!

Fox Trotters

Last night I offered the opening prayer at the 51st annual Missouri
Fox Trotting Horse Breed Association Show in Ava. Daughter-in-law
Amanda sang the national anthem. Trust me, those Fox Trotters never
heard a better rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner.

Over 1000 Fox Trotters have been entered for the competitions. Over
7000 people will be present Saturday night for the World Championship.

We were the guests of one of our Professional Assistants here at
church, Monica Senter. Her dad will be inducted into the Fox Trotter
Association Hall of Fame Saturday night. No small accolade.

Christmas Ruth

Ruth was hot at Silver Dollar City. As we approached the air
conditioned Christmas store, she said she was going to pretend to be
an ornament and hang on a tree the rest of the day.

Ruth and I are watching our calories. After one meal, Ruth checked a
calorie chart to see how much damage we had done. She gasped out
loud, "This says we would have to walk 200 miles to burn off that
meal." Wow. I knew it was a bit much, but 200 miles?

I was envisioning Ruth and me walking all the way to St. Louis. She
then held the book a bit closer, took off her glasses, squinted, and
said, "I'm sorry. It's 200 minutes, not miles."

I don't know why we were so relieved. A 200-minute walk is not
trite. Speaking of food, I had salsa and pickles for breakfast.
Don't face the day. Attack it.

Six Is One

Ruth and I agree. Six may be the best show we've ever seen anywhere.
I don't know where to start. Patriotic. Talk of Jesus. Family
emphasis. Flawless, tight harmony.

The trait that stands out most is the use of their voices to simulate
the sound of instruments. They sound like they have a full band
behind them, but it's only human voices. Trust me. You won't believe
it, even when you are sitting there, seeing and hearing it in person.

I'm back in the office this morning. Slipped in last night to work
under the radar screen. Got a lot done. Helped me sleep better,
knowing I didn't have any fires to put out.

Vacation Ends Today

Sad, but true. Our week of vacation will end tonight. It's been
wonderful. We especially enjoyed having Nathan, Rebekah, Ian, and
Lilly Ruth with us over the holiday weekend. Aging is a Latin word
meaning "loving family more".

John, Amanda, Caleb, and Sam were not able to join us. They were in
Ohio visiting her family.

Ruth and I check out of our condo at 11 am. We will then eat and do a
little shopping. Our vacation will come to an exciting end at the 2
pm Six musical show. Ruth has wanted to see them for a long time.
Her wish is my command today.

Look out, Springfield, here we come!!

Church in Branson

Neil Frank preached a great sermon yesterday morning. I was blessed
at FBC Branson. It was nice to be an ordinary Joe, sitting in the
pew. I do love going to church.

There were more people out and about than I expected yesterday
morning. Branson is home to a good number of churches.

Many entertainment venues offer Sunday worship services. When I
become a travel agent booking trips to Branson, I'll have Ruth play
the piano and I'll preach on Sunday mornings for our tour groups.

Fox News reported women with thin thighs die younger. When I read
this headline out loud, Rebekah said. "I will live to be 250." Ruth
said, "I am approaching immortality."

FBC Branson

I'm headed to First Baptist Church Branson this morning. Pastor Neil
and Kendra Frank went with the Pilgreens and me to San Francisco on a
church vision trip in August. We prayed, explored partnership
possibilities, and laughed ourselves silly.

Traffic has been bumper to bumper this holiday weekend in Branson.
Everything has ground to a halt. Gridlock comes to mind. I wonder if
there will be a traffic jam on the way to church. I hope so.

I intend to park in guest parking. I've always wanted to do that.
Some people don't join churches because they hate to give up their
privileged parking spot.

Ben is preaching all three morning services at Second. He's good. Be
blessed.

Travel Agent To Be

I've decided what I want to do when I retire. Be a travel agent
planning people's trips to Branson.

I would sell a simple package built around a daily threefold
itinerary. Travelers would each day see one show, eat one meal out,
and read one book. That's what I've done. Oh, and one more thing.
Bring someone as wonderful as Ruth along with you.

And wait!! One more thing. Have your grandchildren come and spend
two days with you in the condo. Yes, Ian and Lilly Ruth are headed
here today. They are bringing their mom and dad too. Ruth and I can
hardly wait.

I know what you're thinking. Are Jake, Millie, and Sophie coming? No.

Yep, I plan to make a fortune planning people's trips to Branson.
I'll do the first one in 2018. I'll keep you posted.

Can't See Far

Woke up this morning to a heavy fog over the lake. Can't see much.
Saw plenty yesterday, though.

The Twelve Irish Tenors were wonderful. Actually, there were only 11,
one was sick. They did fine without him. I do so desperately want to
be a tenor in Heaven. They always get top billing.

Went to Dixie Stampede last night. Raw, raucous, and a rippingly good
riot. We laughed the whole time. Even the preshow was mesmerizing.

By the way, the food at Dixie Stampede is second to none. I love food.

Bless The USA

As promised, Ruth and I went to the Yakov Show as his guests. The
crowd always leaves his shows with two things: a lot of laughs, and a
greater love for this country.

The Moscow Circus performers are stunning. Those guys who can kick
their legs out while in a squatting position are painful to watch. If
I ever tried to do that, a crane would have to pick me up and put me
in the ambulance. If you ever see me about to try that feat, please
call 9-1-1 in advance.

Ruth has a date this morning with 13 men. Twelve Irish Tenors and one
Southeast Missouri Baritone. She doesn't know they have heard I'm
coming and intend to have me sing the national anthem of Ireland.
Just kidding.

Music of Heaven

Last night Ken and Stephanie Goodman, Ruth, 4600 other friends, and I
made our annual pilgrimage to the Southern Gospel Festival at Silver
Dollar City. I kept thinking they should let Ken sing. His rendition
of "I Believe in a Hill Called Mt. Calvary" should be required
listening in every home in America.

I saw a sign that said Silver Dollar City serves 40,000 pieces of
fried chicken during the Gospel Music Festival. That's a lot of
religious calories and cholestoral.

I'm not surprised chicken dominates the festival. The Gospel Bird has
long been a staple of Baptist life. Chicken jokes abound.

A Baptist preacher's belt is a fence around a chicken graveyard. On
Sunday, when chickens see the preacher coming for Sunday dinner, they
run to the back of the farm.

A true story. At my brother's ordination, the last question asked him
was, "Do you like chicken?" He said yes and everyone laughed. Over
the years I have wondered if he could have been ordained had he said no.

3 Books

Last night I finished three books I had been reading and enjoying a
while. The first is a book about Gentile Christians sharing their
faith with Jewish people. I appreciated the book's gentle tone.

A second book is about Christian manliness. By the time I finished
reading it, I was feeling like a woos, a world-class sissy, but Ruth
says I'm a real man. I humbly accept her verdict. She has never lied
to me.

The third book deals with the danger of being a leader without keeping
our spiritual batteries charged. This kind of book always sends me on
guilt trip, but I also find them very helpful.

This morning I began a book dealing with the worldwide spread of
religion, a phenomenon none of the pundits foresaw. I will keep you
posted.

Yakov

Yakov was at church yesterday. He drops in from time to time. I'm
not surprised. We comedians like to hang out together.

He has asked me to come see his Moscow Circus Show. He wrote a love
story built around the circus and wants my opinion of it.

Ruth and I will be his guests Wednesday afternoon. He told me to be
sure to arrive at the ticket window early.

I told him I am always early, I was an eight-month baby. He howled
with laughter. I wasn't surprised. We comedians resonate with one
another.

Dogs Gone

As Ruth and I pulled into the driveway, we saw Jake and Millie in the
back of a pick-up truck. As John drove away, we saw dog tails
wagging, and dog hairs flying. The nest is empty.

Travel

Ruth is driving us out of Kansas City eastward. Last night I attended
a conference in St. Joseph for young Pastors. I feel your cynicism.
Why was I there? They asked me to come as a sign of support and
encouragement. I did both.

We are now journeying toward New Bloomfield MO. It's near Jefferson
City. The Missouri Baptist Convention was founded 175 years ago today
at Providence Baptist Church in New Bloomfield.

The church still exists. Several of us are converging there at 10
a.m. to relive the moment. It's a demisemiseptcentennial celebration.

Ruth was not thrilled about getting up so early. I reminded her this
happens only once every 175 years. She asked, "Couldn't we go next
time?"

Ben Hur at Stained Glass Theater

Enjoyed seeing the Ben Hur production by Second Act at Stained Glass Theater
last night. I am always blessed by the story. Second Act's portrayal of it
touched me deeply. The production will continue tonight, Saturday, and next
Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. If you're looking for a good night out, Ben
Hur is my suggestion.

I notice the Southern Gospel festival is underway at Silver Dollar City.
Yes, Ruth and I will be taking much of it in. I love that toe-tapping
music. I am convinced Southern Gospel will be the music of Heaven. Of
course, I also think fried chicken will be served at the marriage supper of
the Lamb. Just think, in Heaven no cholesterol, no obesity, no calories.
Sounds like gluttony without consequences. That's ridiculous. What's wrong
with me? I must be addicted to food.

I have a full weekend ahead of me. Pray the Lord will give me anointing and
rest. I've learned both are essential.

College Fervor

Daniel Hood and his leadership team had 510 students at their first
meeting last night. They met at an open air forum on campus. We feel
this bodes well for a wonderful semester of ministry to college
students. Pray.

Let's talk about the psychology of sports. The St. Louis Cardinals
are the hottest team in baseball. They are so far ahead of the
competition that it's almost comical.

Some Cardinal fans don't want the pennant race to be this lopsided.
They want more suspense in their sports.

That's nuts!!! If I want suspense, I'll watch a sci-fi movie. Go
Redbirds!!!

No Summer 2009

What happened to Summer? It never arrived this year. The coolest
July and August in memory are making us believe 2009 may have five
months of Autumn. We'll see.

I may head to Branson today with grandchildren. I feel the Disney
Store beckoning me.

Sunday was incredible. Crowds were big. Smiles were bigger. My mom
always said people should enjoy going to church. It happened to a lot
of folks at Second this past weekend.

Wonderful Web

Have you checked out our new web site? You need to. It really is pretty
incredible. Thank you, Sam Arthur and Nathan Williams, for making this
happen.

The new church Sunday School year starts tomorrow. We will have huge crowds
in every hour. Pray people will sense something that makes them want to
return. Maybe someday the second Sunday of the new year will be bigger than
the first.

I am between two funerals in a four day period. Death truly is our enemy.
The promise of the resurrection grows sweeter each day.

I will preach three times tomorrow. I can hardly wait. Did I mention I
love to preach? I'll be in John 15 all day. Thanks for the kind and
encouraging words you've been sharing lately. Pray for me.

Humor helps. Bob Hope: I don't feel old, I don't feel anything till noon,
then it's time for a nap. Phyllis Diller: Life begins at fifty, but
everything else starts to wear out. Billy Crystal: By the time we are wise
enough to watch our step, we're too old to go anywhere.

A Cyber Jump

Our new church web site is up and running. Check it out. It's geared to be
an effective communication tool, helping us here at the church convey much
needed info to you.

Each ministry has its own blog, calendar, photo gallery, and resources page,
all updated regularly. The Media and Downloads page allows visitors to
watch or download videos, and listen to or download audio. A "What we're
doing" video series will feature several Second Baptist projects at home and
abroad.

We at the church office are here to serve you as best we can. Content on
our new site will be added continuously. Bugs will inevitably surface. Let
us know of snafus, and we'll go to work on them. It is an honor to be your
cyberspace Pastor.

Humor helps. Classified ads bloopers. Semi-annual after-Christmas sale (I
had to ponder this a moment). The Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched
in variety, unrivaled inconvenience (oh what a difference a space can make).
We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00
(some families need to cash in on this bargain).

Branson

Ruth and I took our two youngest grandchildren to Branson today. Fun
isn't a word strong enough to describe the day.

Branson is not appreciated enough by many of us who live near it.
Millions come from all over the nation to enjoy it yearly, but huge
numbers of locals never go there. It reminds me of people who live in
St. Louis but have never visited the arch.

The Bible says a prophet is not without honor except in his hometown.
I guess a tourist attraction is not without honor except in its own
back yard.

The highlight of the day was the Disney store. Ian calls it "Mickey's
Ears." I took pictures of Ian and Lilly Ruth in front of every Disney
character I saw. What a hoot. If you haven't been to Branson lately,
correct the error of your ways and go pronto!!

Radio

I am sitting on the parking lot of KWTO radio station. In 14 minutes
I will be talking on "Mary in the Morning" about Lincoln's spiritual
life.

Mary and her husband Joseph (yes, that's right, Joseph and Mary)
attend Second. She decided a discussion about the spiritual aspects
of our culture would be good on her show.

After the show, I will dash to the church to start staff meetings. My
guess is, today will be Monday all day long.

Nine minutes, and I'm on. Here I go.

Busy Weekend

Life is a blur these days. The pace is relentless. The strain is
real. I relish every second of it.

This is what God called me to do. I want to serve Him in every detail
of my ministry and life. Last night I had a wedding rehearsal and my
grandson's thirteenth birthday party. I was able to share Jesus at
both.

This morning I spoke to parents of sixth graders. At noon I mingled
with Sunday School leaders. This afternoon I am studying sermons.

Tonight I will conduct a wedding and then speak on holiness for our
college leadership. Tomorrow I will preach three times, and eat lunch
with my family, the ones who give me refuge.

Monday morning I will be on the radio with "Mary in the morning" on
KWTO talking about Lincoln's spiritual life. Pray the Lord will give
me rest and extraordinary anointing for all these tasks. I was born
for this. Pray I will not fail in the stewardship He has chosen for me.

Home From the Bay City

I'm home. Arrived late last night. Came in to the office early this
morning. Tony Bennett left his heart in San Francisco. I left a part of
mine there. I have no doubt God is leading our church to begin a
significant work for God in the Foggy City. Speaking of fog, we never did
get to see the Golden Gate Bridge. It was shrouded in fog the whole time we
were out there.

The task before Second is daunting. It's been 35 years since Southern
Baptists had a successful church plant in San Francisco. One-third of a
century is long enough. It's time for the Lord's people to reclaim
territory for our deserving King.

Enjoyed fellowship with about 31 church leaders, including two Missouri
Baptist Pastors. Neil Franks, Pastor at FBC Branson, and his wife Kendra
were on the trip. Micah Fries, Pastor at Frederick Blvd. BC in St. Joseph,
also came. Trust me, plenty of personality was oozing from the Missouri
delegation.

A Bunch of Preachers

This will be the second of three days I am spending with about 25
church leaders to discuss the possibility of their churches partnering
with us in San Francisco. Preachers are a wild and crazy bunch,
especially when they are away from home.

Ruth's Aunt Eileen, who was a beautician for sixty years, said when
people's hair gets wet, their tongues get loose. My observation is,
when preachers travel, their tongues get loose. They immediately
become world class stand up comics.

I spent the whole day yesterday hooting and howling. Every Baptist
preacher has stories of people they dropped in the baptistry, of gaffs
made at the Lord's Supper, of church members who did or said
ridiculous things.

My favorite moment so far has been a fellow pastor's t-shirt that
says, "People say I have ADD. How would they...Look!! There goes a
chicken."

I am at this very moment laughing out loud. Wait!! There goes a
chicken.

Urgent Care

Saturday was urgent care day for us. In the morning we wheeled Ruth
in due to a knee injury. The pain was too bad for her to put any
weight on her leg at all.

The nurse practitioner manipulated her knee (very painful) until
suddenly she had no pain. Neither of us could believe it. We thought
we were headed to knee surgery for sure.

An xray showed much arthritis. A bone spur had developed. It had
caught a ligament or tendon. The nurse said Ruth would need surgery
someday, but for the present all is well.

Ruth and I were giddily happy. As we left urgent care, people must
have thought we had lost our minds. We were howling with laughter. I
was pushing an empty wheelchair. Ruth was carrying a set of crutches.

Saturday night Caleb went to urgent care with a fishing lure imbedded
in his leg. It was actually quite pretty. John took a picture of it
hanging from Caleb's leg. Not for the faint of heart.

A New Recipe

Fresh grown tomatoes are in. I eat them like a starving man while
they are in season.

I have discovered a concoction I especially enjoy. I've tried it for
breakfast, dinner, and supper, and found it acceptable in each setting.

Here's the magic recipe. Slice three cold tomatoes. Slice one big
cold kosher dill pickle. Pour cold salsa into a cup. Mix all three
in a bowl. Prepare to be blessed. Don't knock it till you try it.

Two of our girls are gone for the weekend. Amanda is driving to Ohio
for an aunt's funeral. She took Sophie with her. I miss Amanda.
Jake and Millie miss Sophie. . .I think.

McCord Bend

Last night I went to observe the Vacation Bible School our people are conducting at First Baptist Church in McCord Bend.  The Robert Duffer class has been doing this each August for the last seven years.  I saw a lot of happy workers, and a lot more happy children.  There are not many activities for children in McCord Bend.  I’m grateful for a class that goes the extra mile to care for the least of these.  Jesus is proud.


Have you been to the fair yet?  The Swine sign, the manure pit, and the mules await thee.  If you miss out, don’t blame me.


These are good days for the Marshall family.  We seem to be content and well.  The Lord is good and greatly to be praised.


Humor helps.  I’ve been in cemeteries.  Here are funny epitaphs someone emailed me.  A coff carried him off; a coffin they carried him off in.  On a lawyer’s stone:  “The defense rests.”  On auctioneer’s grave:  “Going. Going. Gone.”  Here lies Lester Moore, four slugs from a forty-four, no Les, no More.  Bill Blake:  Hanged by mistake.  Zeke:  second fastest draw in Cripple Creek.  No, I do not believe all these are real.  But I do find them funny.

Ozark Empire Fair

Ruth and I went to the fair last night with Rebekah and her crew.
Everyone ought to go to the fair. It reminds us what it means to be
an Ozarker.

The big "swine" sign spoke volumes, as did the billboard pointing
toward the manure pit. The big parade featuring tractors is probably
rare in our country, as is the excitement in people's voices when they
talk about gigantic jacks siring mules. No kidding.

I do love the fair. New Yorkers and Californians need to come see how
good life is in the Midwest.

Name on a Stone

While seeking the grave of a former Pastor's wife at Second, I saw the name Rebbeca on a tombstone. Having never seen a double B in the name before, I took a picture of it and emailed it to my daughter Rebekah.

I thought she would be excited to see another rendition of her name. Oops!! I was wrong. She quickly let me know she felt it was creepy to see her name on a tombstone, no matter how it's spelled.

I was taken aback. I never thought of a gravestone as creepy, or of a cemetery as morbid. Ruth and I sometimes do our cruising through a cemetery. I never find them boring.

Believe me. Graveyards are for the living, not the dead. Okay, that may be a bit overstated, but you know what I mean.

Poor Amanda

Amanda had her first wrestling match with Jake late last night. She
went to let little Sophie out. Jake, terrified at the storm, came
charging in.

With a fearless heart, Amanda grabbed hold of his collar as he tried
to run by. He was wet, cold, and determined, but worst of all, he was
big, almost as big as petite Amanda. The two of them wrangled to a
draw.

John heard her screaming his name and went running to the rescue. He
gave her pointers on how to be more aggressive in dealing with Jake.

Speaking of wrestling, I'm in hand to hand combat with the past. My
quasquicentenniel research is almost done. The next round involves
verifying facts, a tedious task for sure. Digging up bones.

Backache

My back hurts. I wish I could say I was doing something spectacular
when it happened. Truth is, I was getting up out of a chair and felt
something slip. Didn't hurt too bad at the time, but it's barking at
me loud and clear.

I am taking ibuprofen. Surely the person who invented that wonder
drug is lounging on a beach in Destin sipping lemonade. He or she
deserves unlimited access to Fort Knox.

At the time of my disablement I was quasquitizing. When I get serious
about the church history research, I become totally absorbed in it,
obsessed if you will. Good sitting posture gets forgotten. Not good.

My good friend, Dr. Bruce Chesser, Pastor at Geyer Springs in Little
Rock, has resigned to become Pastor at FBC Hendersonville TN, one of
the largest churches in our Southern Baptist Convention. I am prouder
than a peacock. I wish him Godspeed.

Trampoline

I have lost four pounds in the last few days. My new friend is the
trampoline. I have spent two hours over the last two days on it.

My grandson Sam has few things he truly enjoys. One of them is
jumping on the trampoline. Lately he has been wanting someone to jump
with him.

I am torn. I hate trampolines, but love my grandson. It didn't take
long to make that decision. I am glad no one sees me out there.

The only maneuver I have mastered is plopping backward on my fanny and
then jumping back up. To be totally honest, I end up on my backside
more often than I bounce to my feet. Don't laugh. Those goofy moves
are burning calories.

Tomatoes

I am addicted to them, especially to fresh ones just picked. Every
produce stand I pass, it takes every ounce of resistance I can muster
to keep going.

And when I do stop, I have to fight the urge to suddenly bite into the
tomato and eat it like an apple. When God thought of a tomato, He had
a wonderful thought. In fact, I think I saw a tomato in the frig last
night. I feel dessert for breakfast coming.

Ian (age 4) witnessed yesterday to Lilly Ruth (age 2). "Jesus died on
Friday for you, Lilly. He came back to life on Sunday.". He then
burst into song, "Our God is an awesome God..."

Newlyweds Home

John and Amanda are home from their honeymoon. They seem to be
giddily happy. We are thrilled. A major test looms before them.
Will Amanda's indoor dog mesh well with John's two outside dogs? I
will keep you posted.

Where were you forty years ago tonight? After church that Sunday
night, our youth group came to the house to watch the first walk on
the moon. The whole world was mesmerized. It seemed time stood still
and the world was at peace for one brief breath-taking moment.

I am researching my predecessors. Pastors of Second numbers two,
three, and four will be the focus of my history work this week.

Quasquilizationalism

Spent the whole workday yesterday working on the book I am writing for
our church's 125th anniversary, its quasquicentennial. I'm beginning
to obsess over it.

People asked what I was doing. I said I was quasquilizing. What's
wrong with me? My mind is leaving me.

As the day progressed I kept thinking of more words I could create in
honor of our church's anniversary. Quasquimortis--numbness in the
hand due to writing too long and too fast. Quasquinalysys--thinking
too hard trying to ananlyze where to find a key tidbit of history.

Quasquitude--gratitude for having the privilege to write this book.
Quasquileged--privileged to be the Pastor at Second. Quasquimazed--
stunned at God's amazing grace to our church.

The QuasquiEnd.

Fantasy

I'm glad the All-Star break is over. Now we can return to real
baseball. Go Cardinals. For decades I had little interest in the
game, but now I find myself returning more and more to my first sports
love.

Much of this renewed interest is due to Albert Pujols. I can't
remember anyone dominating the first half of a season like he has thus
far this year.

When I was a boy living at 1040 S. Sprigg in Cape Girardeau during the
early 1960s, I would play baseball for hours. Alone. I would hit
monster home runs, watch the invisible ball fly hundreds of feet, hear
the silent deafening roar of the crowd, and then slowly circle the
bases in my back yard as the applause thundered.

Micky Mantle and Willy Mays, my heroes, hit over 500 home runs
apiece. I did too. All of them in my backyard.

Staff Meeting Details

Two items came up at staff meeting that I need to report on. Everyone
gasped when I said I did not know what a Ramen noodle was. One person
even asked, "How did you get through college?"

Later a Ramen noodle mysteriously appeared in my mail tray. I ate it
yesterday. Wow. Pretty good. My cullinary world has been expanded.

I was also chided at staff meeting for not using culturally accepted
abbreviations in my text messages. May b I need 2 get mor n line wth
th program.

I can't do it. To be this sloven in my communications would cause my
tenth grade English teacher to roll over in her grave. Rest at peace,
Miss Sadler.

Nostalgia

I'm having trouble returning to the blogging mode after the wedding.
It's like everything screeched to a halt, and it's hard to overcome
inertia.

I always get sentimental at weddings. My marriage has been idyllic,
and I think at weddings I am subconsciously hoping the newlyweds will
have what Ruth and I have.

I married at the grand old age of 19. If I had it to do again, I
would have married at 17 and saved myself two tough years.

Ruth was 23 when we married. Her school teacher salary provided us a
living the first two years of our married life.

Are We Married?

John called. "Son, I wasn't expecting a call from you. Are you
okay?" "I would be better if I were married to this woman with me."
"Huh??!!" "We forgot to sign the marriage license." "Son, only the
preacher and two witnesses sign it." "Then we are legally married?"
"Yes." The last sound I heard was a holler of happiness.

We're Wed

It was beautiful. Yes, I cried. Tears of joy. They are a precious
couple. An army of people is cleaning up at church.

We're Ready

Pictures are done. We are quietly waiting to start. Crowd is
gathering.

Sweetarts are available in the reception area. I am addicted to
them. I have eaten my share, plus yours too.

Next blog update will be after the ceremony.

We're Ready

Pictures are done. We are quietly waiting to start. Crowd is
gathering.

Sweetarts are available in the reception area. I am addicted to
them. I have eaten my share, plus yours too.

Next blog update will be after the ceremony.

We're Here

All the guys are in the Restless Room putting on tuxedos. The gals
are getting dolled up in the bride's room.

Pictures start at noon. I am wearing the new suit I wore for my
convention sermon in Louisville.

I am wearing a brand new green tie and a brand new tie bracelet. It
has three charms on it. Dogs. Yep. Ruth felt it would be wrong to
totally leave out the three family members who won't be at the wedding.

We're Up

Nervous. Excited. Ready. Ruth is gone to the grocery store for last
minute details. Hoping the rain will stop by 3 pm.

John has already given me detailed instructions about taking care of
the boys next week during the honeymoon. No, he did not ask us to
come along on the honeymoon.

Tomorrow

Wedding rehearsal is over. Joy and gladness abound. This is going to
be a happy wedding and an even happier marriage. John and Amanda seem
totally enamored with each other. That's the way it should be.

A Tombstone Pillow

Spent much of yesterday with grandchildren.  What better way to spend a day off?  Ian (age 4) told me Lilly Ruth (age 2) was fussing a lot.  When I asked why she was grumpy, he said, “Because God made her like that.”  Irrefutable theology.

 

Took Sam with me to do a cemetery run.  I’m still tracking down graves of Second Baptist charter members.  Sam’s autism causes him to want to run toward things he really likes—his gameboy, his DVD player, the trampoline, etc.  In the graveyard, though, he would take off running, go maybe ten steps, and then turn around as if to say, there’s nothing out here worth running to.  I knew I had worn him out when I saw him lean against one of the tombstones and rest his head on it.  I had mercy on him and we left the necropolis.

 

Caleb is one of our young people going to Rockaway Beach every day this week to help with VBS.  He’s having a great time.  Ken and Jaci did a great job planning this mission project.

 

My new computer is to be installed in about 53 minutes.  Hopefully I will be able to cope.

 

Humor helps.  Classified ad bloopers.  Dynamite workers wanted:  must be willing to travel.  Great dames for sale.  Amana washer $100:  owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.  Vacation special:  have your home exterminated.  Toaster:  automatically burns toast.  Christmas gifts for the hard-to-find person.

 

Going Home

Two of our dearest, eldest, saints will be buried this morning.  Heaven is a bit sweeter today than it was yesterday.  Their funerals are at the same time.  Ed Meyer is preaching one; I’m preaching the other.

 

I’ll be going to Walnut Grove for the burial.  I don’t think I’ve ever been there.  On the way back, I may detour to see Ash Grove, where Randy Moore, our Minister of Media, lives.  He speaks of it as if it were Heaven.  I need to see for myself if this may be the New Jerusalem.

 

Don’t you love the Cardinals?  Pujols is a hitting machine.  I love watching him play.  It doesn’t hurt anything that he is Jesus-full and drug-empty.

 

Over the weekend I finished a good amount of writing on the quasquicentennial book for our church.  I still wish I had more original material to work with, but the story will nevertheless come through loud and clear.

 

I’m still trying to perfect my new blog format.  Please forgive any odd looking layouts.  I’m determined to master this thing.

 

Humor helps.  When will all the rhetorical questions end?  Never slap a man chewing tobacco (what if it’s a woman?).  Never kick a cow chip on a hot day (I don’t recommend it for cold days either).  Always drink upstream from the herd (I suggest you try bottled water).

 

Partying

I just came from Lilly Ruth’s second birthday party.  I could literally sit and stare at her for hours.  She is beautiful and perfect in every way.  When we gave her cake to eat, she did not spill one speck on herself.  She was dainty to the end.  Happy birthday, Lilly Ruth.

Speaking of parties, John and Amanda will marry one week from today.  You as a church have prayed for us, served us, carried us through dark waters, and loved us every step of the way these last 18 months.  Now we hope you will come party with us.  Without you, we would not have made it this far.

I have journeyed to cemeteries, seeking the gravesites of Second Baptist charter members.  I’m not doing real well thus far.  Writing the history of our church, though, is about as much fun as I’ve had on a project in a long time.

I’m preaching on Lincoln tomorrow morning.  The sermon will last about 35 minutes, which will make it one of the longest sermons I’ve preached in years.  Remember, they who endure to the end shall be saved.

Church and Family

I’m frustrated.  Spent three hours last night on Ancestry.com researching charter members of Second.  I am working on our quasquicentennial (125 years) book, but am finding precious little about the people who began our church.  Names and dates are somewhat available, but stories are missing.  It’s making my work difficult.  Without an abundance of prime sources, it’s hard to resurrect events from 125 years ago.

I’m excited.  There’s only one item on the Marshall/Bolin/Williams collective agenda.  Wedding!!!  July 11, 3 pm, here at church.  John and Amanda are both giddy with excitement.  The rest of us are too.  The Lord has blessed our family.  To borrow a phrase from the back of our one dollar bill, annuit coeptis, He has favored our undertakings.

Our church offices will be closed tomorrow, Friday July 3, in honor of the fourth.  Have a safe holiday.  By the way, speaking of July 4, do you know what the most patriotic letter is?  Y—because it’s the fourth of July.

8 Years

Eight years ago today God gave me the special gift of a wonderful son-
in-law. Nathan Williams is as good as it gets. He is kind to my
daughter and grandchildren, plus laughs at my jokes at least half the
time.

Nathan and Rebekah are a model couple. Their finances are under
control, their house is flawless, their marriage is strong, their
children are perfect.

Rebekah, on her award winning blog www.yeebird.blogspot.com, has
become the archivist, photographer, and chronicler of our family.
Maybe someday she will post a picture of Jake, Millie, and Sophie.

Green Beans

Ate green beans for breakfast. A neighbor brought them to us out of
his garden. I cooked them. Yes, you read that right. I cooked
them. Fried bacon and then poured it on the beans. Life is good.

Friends gave me a cake last night, inscribed "John the Fire Marshall"
in honor of my fire bucket sermon. I was also given a booklet of fire
engine stickers.

I am wearing my oldest tie today. It was given to me on the
bicentennial July 4, 1976. It is too thick for a Double Windsor. I
had to humble myself and do a Single Windsor, a fashion misstep for
sure.

Yesterday's patriotic services were excellent. Thanks Kevin, choir,
orchestra, Second Act, and media. I love being the Pastor at Second.

Here We Go

I am having to learn a new way of blogging. I've learned technology
has a middle name--change.

I am exhausted and exhilarated, trying to sort out this last week. I
think I experienced this past Wednesday a life event. I'm glad Mom
and Dad lived long enough to see it.

The choir and orchestra matched everything else I heard at the
convention. They were professional and humble. No showboating. Amen.

Be careful in the heat. It is dangerous. I love you. See you in
church tomorrow.

Stuck in Traffic

Ruth and I are 60 miles from St. Louis, stuck in road construction
traffic. This is not good. We want to be past St. Louis before rush
hour. At this rate, we won't make it. I look forward to sleeping in
my own bed tonight.

John and Amanda closed on their house this morning. They have
purchased Brad and Janet Bennett's house.

I am incredibly sleepy. I'm going to sleep on the floor of the van
while we are stopped. Good night.

Relieved

Extremely glad I did it. Extremely glad it's done. Thanks for praying.

Now

Choir is singing. I am next. Pray hard.

Family

Platform seating is good. Four generations of my family are here.
Ruth, parents, siblings, children, grandchildren, cousin, aunt.
Several church members drove on their own to be here.

Platform

The choir and orchestra just finished their first sweep. It is an
understatement to say they brought the house down. Ruth and I have
the best seats in the house. We are on the platform.

Up and at it

It is 6:30 here, 5:30 in Springfield. Ruth and I are heading to
breakfast with my Large Church Roundtable buddies.

Preaching Zone

I have been told our choir and orchestra have passed St. Louis on  
their way to Louisville.  I have heard great music here at the SBC.   
Our people will be able to hold their own, and then some.  Pray for  
their safety.

After this morning's session, I mounted the platform to view the  
pulpit area.  It is obviously designed by preachers.  Excellent  
situation.  Definitely conducive to feeling relaxed in the pulpit.   
Keep praying.  Thanks.

Schmoozing

It's fun to hobnob with folks at the convention.  We spent time with
Ben and Shauna Pilgreen this afternoon, and then ate supper with
Daniel and Emily Hood.

Saw John M. Edie's predecessor at Second, Gary Bearce.  He is enjoying
his ministry in Alaska.

Governor Mike Huckabee preached this afternoon.  Ruth and I later had
a chance to visit with him personally.  I met him years ago when he
and I were pastors in Arkansas.

Ruth gave me three dog charms for a tie chain for Fathers Day.  Jake,
Millie, and Sophie (Amanda's dog) will be puffed up with pride.

Santa in June?

Yesterday Ruth and I worshiped with Second via the Internet.  Amazing,
isn't it?  Anywhere in the world, people can tune in to our services.

We drove from Mt. Vernon IL to Louisville.  On the way we passed the
town of Santa Claus IN.  No kidding.  It has a suburb named Rudolf.  
Just kidding.

Edited more sermons.  Perused my convention sermon.  I'm feeling
okay.  Keep praying.

Some of the preliminary SBC meetings are already underway.  You can
enjoy them at www.sbc.net.

On The Road

Ruth and I are on our way to Louisville.  We stayed at Mom and Dad's
Friday night.  Tonight we are at a hotel in Mt. Vernon, Illinois.  I
edited three Gospel of John sermons this afternoon and evening.

Ate lunch with a large number of extended family.  Enjoyed a gourmet
meal at a fast food place.  They are happy about my preaching the
convention sermon.

Watched the SL Cardinals beat the KC Royals.  Pujols is a joy to watch.

Ruth and I intend to worship with Second in the morning via the
Internet.   Keep praying for us.

Geegling

I’m at the office taking care of last minute details before the convention. I sense in my spirit a readiness to go. Your prayers are making a difference. Thanks.

I learned the verb form of Twitter is tweeting. Thus, the verb form of facebook is facebeeking, and if you google more than once, you are geegling. Oh well. A great thing about being 57 is, no one expects me to know these things anyway.

Helped watch Lilly Ruth (age 2 soon) while Ian practiced T-ball. She was bent on walking atop a row of railroad ties by the play area. She would fall, stumble, and lose her balance, but with bulldog determination she refused to quit trying. By the time we left, she mastered it. Way to go, Lilly Ruth. I liked the grit I saw in her.

Caleb and I tried to convince Jake and Millie to stay on the deck while our lawn was being mowed. No way. Too hot for them. Remind me to install air conditioning for them. Good grief. You should have seen them while Caleb gave them a bath. They hated it. Wow. I never knew cleanliness could be so painful.

Twittering

Every direction I turn, people mention to me the convention sermon I will preach next Wednesday in Louisville. We will broadcast the sermon live in our auditorium. You can watch it live on the internet at www.sbc.net. I am scheduled to preach about 10 a.m. our time. You can begin hearing our choir and orchestra at 7 a.m. our time.

I will be away from my desk top computer for a while. It’s hard to post blogs from my laptop or cell phone, but our crackerjack computer guy, Sam Arthur, and I are hatching a plan whereby I can stay in touch with you while I’m away.

I will email him snippets of what I am experiencing on the trip. Sam will then transfer them to my blog. It will be our own personalized version of Twitter. This will provide you a blow by blow description of what’s happening.

Thank you for praying for me. It is an honor to be your Pastor. I love you.

Old as Jess-Jess

Had salsa and soup for breakfast. Salsa should be on everyone’s list as a staple breakfast food.

We should do away with the concept of salsa and chips, and replace it with salsa and straws. I think we should suck salsa in. This would reduce calories, and also reduce the number of stains we get on our clothes from the ridiculous gesture of trying to balance salsa on a flat chip.

I played with Ian (age 4) on the trampoline. He wore me out. When he asked why I was resting, I said I was old. He thought a moment and said, “Grandpa, you’re as old as Jess-Jess.” Ouch. Jess-Jess is Ian’s great-grandpa. He’s 93.

Some of our friends have a new dog. I said, “It’s a Jack Henry.” Ruth said, “No, it’s not! It’s a Jack Daniel.” Ian rolled his eyes and muttered, “Jack Russell.” We were howling. Ruth wouldn’t know a Jack Daniel if she saw one. Come to think of it, I wouldn’t know a Jack Russell if I saw one. I think it’s one of those nervous dogs. Jake and Millie could tell me.

Red Stain

Remember that new suit I said I was not going to buy to wear at the Southern Baptist Convention? It fits me real well. Ruth is pleased.

Speaking of Ruth, yesterday I spilled a big bowl of macaroni and tomatoes covered with salsa on our living room carpet. Ruth saw it happen and immediately sprang into action. We cleaned, scrubbed, sprayed Resolve, and prayed for a miracle. Red soaks into beige real bad.

When we were all done, Ruth kindly said, “Don’t worry, Honey. Every time I look at it I’ll think of you and remember how much I love you.” I thought, “Half true.” I hoped Resolve would do its magic, but this morning as I was walking and doing private time, I saw a red circle on the carpet. I was crushed. I remembered Ruth’s quote. By mid-morning I should know whether or not she really meant it.

My new computer comes today. Sad. Sad. Nevertheless, I am determined to try to keep pace with technological advances. My goal is to always be no more than 10 years behind where technology currently is.

Feeling Human

I slept later today. O blessed sleep! I actually feel human. This is the good news.

The bad news is, my new computer is in and will be installed on my desk Monday morning. Our computer guru, Sam Arthur, is “loading” it as we speak. Sounds to me like he’s putting bullets in it to fire at me. It might as well be shooting me, for all the pain it’s going to cause me. I promise you, tears will be shed next week.

At least one friend is true blue, trying to understand and sympathize. My friend Bruce Chesser, Pastor in Little Rock, texted me words of comfort. “I just had to get a new computer. I will pray for you. I slept with my old one last night. It is just so hard to let it go. It knows me. It accepts me.” I agree. Thanks, Bruce. The pain is lessened a bit.

I’ll soon go to High Street to see grandson Ian (age 4) play t-ball. Thursday night at practice the team started kicking and throwing dirt a bit too much. Coach had to call them in for a huddle and encourage them to keep their focus. One boy hit the ball and took off running for first base. The child on first base got confused. Instead of running to second base, he took off straight for home. In the middle, the boys collided head on. This caused another break in the action.